Healing Trauma Basics
Relational Health
(This section is inspired by the book What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing.)
Trauma was very common in the ancient world. In many ways, our ancestors faced even more horrific events - everything ranging from extreme abandonment and abuse to up-close combat with edged weapons. This is shown in accounts such as The Illiad or The Odyssey. While many ancient people simply died off, we know from our own existence that some survived and even thrived. Why is that? While there are many reasons, one major reason is their access to other relationships. Children were raised by multiple parents. Extended families and friends lived together. Before the common existence of large cities, people existed in hunter-gatherer bands that formed close communities - consisting of no more than 150 people.
Relationships are a key factor in preventing trauma. Indeed, data gathered from over 70,000 individuals had one major finding: “connectedness to family, community, and culture is more predictive of your mental health than your history of adversity.”
Healthy relationships provide us with experiences that disconfirm the extreme emotions and beliefs that we can take on from traumatic events. (E.g., safe people will help correct the belief that “I am not safe.”)
Healthy relationships also provide a way for us to revisit trauma in small bites. As Dr. Perry indicates, our nervous system and neural networks need controllable and brief visits to trauma in order to heal it. Thousands of little interactions with parents, grandparents, neighbors, friends, and teachers “provide rewarding, regulating, and healing experiences.” We don’t typically want to revisit a trauma for an hour at a time. We typically talk to a friend for just a few minutes and when it gets too painful, we step back.
Indeed, relationships allow us to co-regulate; the calm and safety of their nervous system can be “contagious” to ours.
Sadly, trauma that took place in childhood with caregivers will create a link between terror and intimacy. Victims will long for connection but get anxious, confused, or overwhelmed when they get close. They avoid intimacy when possible and sabotage it when it’s unavoidable.
Create Your Village:
Could you join a group of people who share your views on spirituality? (E.g., church, synagogue, mosque, temple, universalist group, atheist group, etc…)
What healthy people do you already know as acquaintances? What if you spent some time developing these connections into friendships?
Who in your current life do you feel safe with? Who do you feel anxious or shut down around? How can you prioritize relationships with safe people and de-prioritize relationships with unsafe people?
Rhythm & Movement
Back to our ancestors: there is a reason our hunter-gatherer ancestors had traditions that involved repetitive activities such as dancing, singing, drumming, and natural exercise (e.g., walking).
Our bodies naturally prefer rhythmic activities and find them calming. Our nervous systems enjoy patterned, repetitive activities.
Try rhythmic activities:
Try rocking back and forth from side to side.
Try a fidget toy while doing another activity.
Listen to music.
Turn on your favorite song and sing to the lyrics.
Try out an instrument such as drums or percussion.
Try out dancing.
Go to a local park and walk. (The sensory element of nature is also regulating to us.)
Try a sport such as basketball or soccer.
Kick a ball back and forth with a friend.
Color with someone side-by-side.
While some activities are inherently calming because of the rhythm involved, some activities are great simply because they involve movement.
Our society is slowly losing the desire and cultural norm to regularly move our bodies. Instead of having regular walking or running in our day, we have driving. This is unfortunate as research has shown that physical activity is essentially one of the best “multivitamin” experiences that we can do for our mental health. Exercise improves a multitude of things including anxiety, depression, strengthening muscles, improving immunity, improving sleep, increasing energy etc… Certain forms of exercise can also be very powerful for those with complex trauma.
*Note: it is common in the exercise world to “push yourself” past your initial impulses to stop. This is NOT recommended for those with dissociation as this can make it worse. Those with severe trauma will find that exercise can feel like past trauma - adrenaline, increased heartrate and etc. - so it’s important to go slowly.
Try movement:
Start walking and work your way up to running.
Head to the gym, but only commit to doing light exercises. Experiment with what feels grounding for you.
Stop when you have the impulse to stop. Don’t push through.
Try a sport - this will help you get exercise in the context of relationships and rhythm.
Try squats. These help us build connection with the ground.
Try a self-defense course. Many places have these courses for free or at a reduced cost. I recommend martial arts as they can help us practice getting into and out of fight/flight with safety and community.
Check out Yoga, Qigong, or Tai chi.
Nature
The connection between humans and nature has been a central aspect of anthropology for centuries. Anthropologists have studied various cultures and societies throughout history and have observed a universal human tendency to connect with the natural world. This connection is expressed through religious beliefs, rituals, and activities such as hunting, gathering, and agriculture. In many indigenous cultures, the relationship between humans and nature is seen as reciprocal and interdependent, with humans having a responsibility to maintain a balance with the environment. In the book “Nature and the Human Soul,” Bill Lotkin tells us that, “ [for at least 2 million years]. . . humans have evolved in a matrix woven equally of nature and culture. In recent times, we have moved away from our connection to nature. And yet . . . a thorough experiential grounding in nature is . . . essential for us: without it, pathology and self-destruction result.”
Benefits of nature include:
Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce symptoms of stress and anxiety by decreasing cortisol levels and increasing feelings of calm and relaxation.
Improved Mood and Emotional Well-Being: Spending time in nature has been linked to increased feelings of happiness and well-being, as well as a reduction in symptoms of depression.
Increased Attention and Focus: Nature has been shown to improve cognitive function, including attention and focus, by providing a restorative environment that helps to reduce distractions and mental fatigue.
Enhanced Physical Health: Spending time in nature has been linked to a number of physical health benefits, including improved cardiovascular health, increased physical activity, and better sleep quality. These benefits are likely due to the restorative properties of nature, which can help to reduce stress and promote relaxation.
Try nature:
Visit a local park.
Travel to a larger state park where you are surrounded by nature.
Try camping.
Incorporate more outdoor activities (e.g. hiking, gardening, bird watching).
Incorporate more plants and natural elements into your home and/or workspace. This can help to improve air quality as well.
Dr. Bruce Perry