Improving Sleep
General Sleep Hygiene
During the Day
Get sunlight right as you wake up.
Exercise regularly - especially cardio. Exercise makes sleep easier in many different ways.
Avoid alcohol at dinner. It is not good for REM sleep.
Eat an early dinner. Early eating is linked with better sleep.
Caffeine takes a long time to get out of your system. Stop drinking as early in the morning as possible; avoid drinking in the afternoon.
Create a bedtime routine
Go to bed at the same time every night.
Try to go to bed when during traditional hours (9-11pm). If you stay up too long and go to bed too late, your body will think something is wrong and begin to wake you up with adrenaline.
Set the alarm so you wake up at the same time every morning, even on weekends.
Try a hot or cold shower an hour before bed.
Try reading fiction, journaling, or doing some stretching to loosen up your spine.
Avoid technology (TV, smart devices) in bed.
Reserve the bed for sleep or sexual activity.
Sleep in a cool, dark room.
Make sure that your hands and feet are warm. Try turning the A/C down but wearing socks and a nice blanket.
Hide your alarm clock and don't allow yourself to look at it. Seeing the time creates unnecessary anxiety. Due to the placebo and nocebo effect, you may actually feel better if you think you slept longer than you actually did.
Get a noise machine. I like the (slightly expensive) Marpac Dohm Classic.
Try to sleep on your side. This is what primitive societies do. It also helps with glymphatic transport (the brain clearing itself of waste).
If you can’t fall asleep
Don’t lay in bed for more than 20m or so.
Get out of bed and sit someplace quiet. Either read or do something under low light. Don’t associate your bed with being awake.
Boredom is a great ally to sleep, so make sure you're not on a smart device or doing anything stimulating.
Go back to sleep when you start yawning.
If you still can’t fall asleep, try taking a sleep aid, like a low-dose (1mg) melatonin.
Below is a Yoga Video that I have used to help myself discharge stress before bed.
Falling Asleep Faster
Military Approach
During World War 2, Navy pilots were under severe stress leading to serious mistakes while flying. The Navy brought in Lloyd Bud Winter to develop a method that help these pilots be able to sleep more. He ended up creating a process where “combat aviators to be able to go to sleep in two minutes any time, day or night, under any and all conditions.” Here are the steps from the book “Relax and Win”:
Breathe and relax your face: “Let’s breathe slowly, deeply, and regularly. Take all the wrinkles out of your forehead. Relax your scalp. Just let go. Now let your jaw sag-g-g. Let it drop open. Now relax the rest of your face muscles. Get the brook trout look on your face. Even relax your tongue and lips. Just let them go loose. Breathe slowly. Now, let’s go after the eight muscles that control your eyes. Let them go limp in their sockets. No focus, just let them go limp. Breathe slowly.
Drop your shoulders: “Now drop your shoulders as low as they will go. You think that they are low, but let them go more. Did you feel the muscles in the back of your neck go limp? When you think you are really relaxed, let them go even more.
Relax the chest: “Now, let’s relax your chest. Take a deep breath. Hold it. Exhale and blow out all your tensions. Just let your chest collapse. Let it sag-g-g. Imagine you are a big, heavy blob on the chair, a jellyfish. Breathe slowly. When you exhale, release more and more of your tensions.
Relax your arms and hands: “Let’s go after your arms. Talk directly to your arm muscles. First, talk to your right bicep. Tell it to relax, go limp. Do the same to your right forearm. Now to the right hand and fingers. Your arm should feel like a dead weight on your leg. Repeat the relaxation process with your left arm. Breathe slowly.
Your entire upper body has been exposed to relaxation and a warm, pleasant feeling comes over you. You feel good. A sense of well-being invades your body.
Relax your legs: “Now for your lower body. Talk to your right thigh muscles. Let them go to a dead weight on the chair. Let the meat hang on the bones. Go through the same routine for the right calf muscles. Then all the muscles of your right ankle and foot. Tell yourself that your right leg has no bones in it. It is just a flabby, heavy weight on the deck. Repeat the process with your left thigh, calf, ankle, and foot.
Breathe: At present you are all relaxed physically, or think you are. For a little insurance, let’s take three deep breaths and when you let them out, blow out all the remaining tensions, one . . . whoosh, two . . . whoosh, three . . . whoosh.”
Clearing Your Mind
Winters says that if you can get this relaxed, all that is needed is to intentionally clear your mind of any active thoughts for just 10 seconds. Here are the best ways to do that. Note, if one doesn’t work, simply try the next:
Get goofy: think about the silliest things you can. (Ensure that you do not think about movement as movement activates the muscles.)
Get calm: think about the calmest things you can.
Canoe: “First, we want you to fantasize that it is a warm spring day and you are lying in the bottom of a canoe on a very serene lake. You are looking up at a blue sky with lazy, floating clouds. Do not allow any other thought to creep in. Just concentrate on this picture and keep foreign thoughts out, particularly thoughts with any movement or motion involved. Hold this picture and enjoy it for ten seconds.
Hammock: “In the second sleep-producing fantasy, imagine that you are in a big, black, velvet hammock and everywhere you look is black. You must also hold this picture for ten seconds.
Try repeating the words "Don't think" for 10 seconds.
Other Tips
Begin humming. After you have hummed for a few minutes, transition to 4-7-8 breathing (video link) for a few more minutes.
Try progressive muscle relaxation meditation.
Lie in bed with your eyes open (lights off). Persistently tell yourself "don't fall asleep" and focus entirely on this phrase, attempting to stay awake. Repeat for 10m.
Managing Nightmares
IFS teaches that nightmares are often the product of our parts. While they can be done by managers, they're often coming from exiled parts. Exiles have experienced painful memories and often live in real horror. To try to escape, find relief, or get our attention, exiles give us nightmares that make us feel the same emotions that they do. (Some research suggests that when we dream, our brains are in a Theta wave state. Theta is also a common wave state for early childhood.)
Here are several ideas to help manage your nightmares. Some may work better than others.
1: Try listening to this EMDR music for 15-20m before bed: Link
2: Try the "Basic Exercise" to calm your vagus nerve Link
3: Using a journal, take a few minutes before bed to focus inward. Speak to yourself as if you're speaking to a large group of people:
State that you now realize that nightmares are there for a reason. Even though you don't always like them and they do make it difficult to sleep, honor that they're coming from parts of you trying to get their needs met.
Validate the parts giving you nightmares - they live in constant pain, fear, and terror. It's normal for them to want to escape, find relief, or get your attention.
Reaffirm that you see them and are setting an intention to help them in therapy.
Educate: not sleeping makes your amygdala more reactive, which means the less sleep you have, the more easily triggered your exiles will be.
Negotiate: exiles will be triggered less if you sleep more; this also enables you to have more energy to find and care for them
Ask: what do these parts need from you?
4. If all else fails, try a "Nightmare Rescripting."
Write out any nightmares that continually resurface.
Choose how you want the nightmare to change and then journal out the new ending.
Visualize and rehearse this ending in your imagination before bed.
Matthew Walker